Below is Paul Dix's answer to a behaviour question asked by a TES reader. The response was published in the TES:
The Problem
As a cover supervisor I have had to do internal exclusion duty and was left alone with a very aggressive boy. He was rude and threatening. He has been sent in for another incident and I'll have to cover it. Can I request not to be alone with him?
The Expert View
The straight answer is yes, in the short term you can request not be alone with him. But you will need a longer-term solution that develops your relationship with this child. In the end, we have to find a way with all the children, and play the cards we are dealt.
Examine your response to children sent to internal exclusion. They often arrive angry, frustrated and aggressive. Be careful not to open a Pandora's box of emotion. Give time for the child to get back in control. Resist the urge to intervene. Take a step back.
Find a member of staff who has a strong relationship with the child. Ask them for help. Be open about what has happened and the strategies you have tried. Don't be afraid of "the behaviour conversation". Most of us had to learn behaviour management skills from great teachers. Ask for a meeting with the child, led by your colleague. But resist laying down the law. Make it clear that you understand the anger, the motivation and the rage. Confirm that the boy understands you are there to supervise, not judge. Make sure he leaves the meeting with a better opinion of you and not with a fistful of targets. When you meet him next, don't mention the meeting. Show him that even if your role is different you are first and foremost an adult modelling emotional restraint.
It is so much harder to be rude and aggressive towards someone who has shown understanding or kindness. Some colleagues might try to persuade you to call in the artillery. It is worth remembering that "children see, children do".
