First published in Child Education PLUS Magazine in December 2010.
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."
Albert Einstein
The image of the stick used to force children to behave well has a violence that echoes another era. I am not going to try and force my class to behave with threats and fear as my teachers did to me. I am not going to use negative reinforcement, threats or any other stick wielded in anger. If I need to beat my children I am going to beat them with a softer stick. I am going to beat them with my kindness.
The most powerful technique for wielding the soft stick is to remind children of their previous good behaviour as you tackle their present actions. ‘Ashraf, do you remember when you helped me clear up the classroom/handed me that excellent design/worked with Darren (when everyone said he was whiffy), that is the Ashraf that I need to see today, that is the Ashraf I know can make good choices'.. In the middle of gentle castigation there is a moment of positive reinforcement, a reflection of a better time, a splinter of self belief. For the child there is nothing to argue with, nothing to attack. For the child considering their next move it is irresistible.
Often teachers unpack emotional weaponry thinking that shouting, threatening or aggressing children will create change in behaviour. In the moment it might have the effect that you desire. In the longer term it is a blunt instrument that has no proven effect on behaviour change. Many children thrive on the danger, adrenaline and risk that comes from a teacher who manages behaviour with the emotional stick. Brave warriors are sent from their chairs to challenge the authority of an adult. With the love and respect of their peer groups behind them they get their rewards from your emotional response. The thrill of challenging an angry adult, the healthy applause from their friends and the immediacy of attention mean the rewards outweigh the probable sanctions.
I don't believe that bribing children to behave well is a sustainable strategy. Children, adults, human beings have a deep desire to be appreciated not to be adorned with gifts and false expectations. In the end flattery and bribery are snake oil that is sold to make it seem easy. Of course as with all ‘univeral solutions' it assumes that all children are the same. They never have been. Differentiating your rewards means that you know how each child feels appreciated or feel important. This takes time, effort and commitment on your part. Some children find their ‘importance' through fame. The work on display, the applause in assembly or the poem that is read out as a great example to the class. Other people find their ‘importance' in a quiet word, an extra responsibility or subtle, discreet reinforcement. Different reinforcement works for different characters. Different people feel appreciated in different ways. What the false prophets of the behaviour industry tell you is that children want electronic tokens that can be exchanged for prizes, money and products. What they don't tell you is that it is not what you give but the way that you give it that counts. I can give you a special job and make you feel like a king, I can give you £5 and make you feel like you don't matter.
Great teachers understand that making children feel appreciated and important is a more refined and intelligent way to manage behaviour. Dangling random carrots works for some but as the child grows older they demand larger and more expensive carrots. We want children to take responsibility for their own behaviour. Not to be always looking to their teachers for approval.
It is small things that make the biggest difference and build the most positive relationships. Convincing your children that there is no place that you would rather be, tailoring your reinforcement for individuals, treating children with kindness even when their behaviour tries to trigger a different response. Finding the subtleties in behaviour makes your classroom management more intelligent, more human and more likely to effect positive change that is sustained.
Over-praising lowers expectations, makes you appear insincere and doesn't encourage children to feel genuinely appreciated. No one over the age of 8 is really convinced by flattery. Preserve the value of praise by balancing it with other reinforcers that are just as powerful. Give children what they really desire. Your time, attention, pride, humour, passion for learning, pleasure with their company and positive relationship. Sincere praise that is pinned to evidenced effort works. Celebrating every behaviour with effusive praise means you have nowhere else to go when the really good things happen. Rather like the teacher who shouts too much your strategy, overused, loses impact.
Carrots and sticks are blunt, uninspiring instruments to tackle ingrained behaviours. Children are not animals to be trained, herded and controlled but humans who need to feel that they matter. Classroom management that relies on fear and reward misses the point. Outstanding behaviour management requires outstanding relationships. Relationships that are founded on much more than a stick that is no longer scary and a carrot that has seen better days.
Changing behaviour and meeting the needs of the child is the ‘win, win' in behaviour management. It is not easy, quick or simple as it was. But it is a great deal more humane.
Reinforcers that work better than dangling carrots:
- Find out what makes a student feel appreciated/important and use it to reinforce good behaviour/attitude.
- Post it praise - reinforce children who are working well, without disturbing them by sticking a short encouraging message on their table or under their book
- Personal acknowledgement, with a smile at the door, taking an interest in children's lives outside the classroom
- Moments of sincere, private verbal praise that is reinforced with a note to mum
- Reflective comments on written work, ‘Kylie, I am so pleased that you took the extra time to.....'
- Extra responsibility for the organization of the classroom (with a badge/hat/clipboard if it helps)
- Peer congratulations
- Subtle, discrete, non verbal positive reinforcement (high fives, thumbs up, pat on the back etc)